Just Be Yourself

I've heard it all my life, (and now I'm saying it to my own child) 'just be yourself.' As if it the easiest thing in the world to do. As if suddenly, it will become crystal clear which way I should go, or how I should behave. Here's the problem--what does that even mean? And which self gets to come out? The one that wants everyone to like me? (that person comes up short every time by comparison). The one my belief system tells me to be? (that person tries really really really hard to get it right, and ends up depressed and anxious). The one that is shaped by my family system, my socioeconomic status, my ethnicity or my education? (you get the picture).  Who is the person I am, underneath all of the layers and layers of perfectionism, negative thinking, self hatred, comparisons, and expectations?

Well, my doctor and I are working through this issue specifically by way of a stress-reduction program that focuses on mindfulness. Basically, I'm trying to get quiet enough inside my head to see what is really there. And then to accept what I see, and learn to trust myself. We're working through a book called Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It is EXACTLY what I need right now. Here is a quote that inspired me from the book:

It is impossible to become like somebody else. Your only hope is to become more fully yourself. In practicing mindfulness, you are practicing taking responsibility for being yourself and learning to listen to and trust your own being.